Friendships over the years ...

This is my second post in this month. First time when I started this blog, almost two years back, I wanted to write at least once every week. Never happened though. After long time and for the first time I'm writing second time with in two weeks gap. The reason for this is boredom caused by sitting at home all the day.

Just today I noticed that one of my best friends wrote a comment on my two previous blogs. For long time I wanted to write something about my friends. For some reason I always hesitated to do that. I guess there is no need to look for reasons.

I've always believed that I've a pleasant disposition to make friends with anyone easily. At the same time I've always been hesitant to move from a stage of knowing one some one to a stage of being best friends with the same person. I'm sure everyone has the some sort of theory like this. For me, all my life the only thing that made me feel uncomfortable with anyone was some one's financial status, not in a negative way though. I mean if some one was filthy rich or even richer, then I definitely hesitated to talk to them or felt very uncomfortable being around them. It doesn't mean that I hate rich people. I think it has to do more with my inferiority complexion. In my family it self, unfortunately, we were not treated that well because of our financial situation for longest time. All that changed when I did well in school over the years. Lot of reasons made me stay away from rich people thinking that either they would be arrogant or I wouldn't be knowing the right customs to be friends with them. It is very normal for lot of people who come from middle class background, that too if they are from village it's even worse. In the end what I'm trying to say it it all depends up on upbringing and lot more factors like where you come from.

Anyway, going back to what I wanted to say, in my life until now I can confidently say that I made some very good friends. Until 5th grade I was never in the same school for more than one year. Because of this I never made any close friends. After 5th grade I went to a boarding school and it became home for the next 5 years. In all those five years I was there in that school away from my family for 9 months in every year. It might sound simple for you unless you were in that situation when were kid. I still remember lot of my friends were very scared to be away from their families. First time when parents came to school to leave them there, most of the students were crying like anything. I was ok though. When you stay at some place for 5 continuous years, that too at very young age, you definitely tend to make very good friends with some kids. Yes, I had made an excellent friendship with a guy name E.Kiran. He is a very close friend. He was there for me when ever I needed him. I always consider him as my family member. In fact his family always treated me like their another son. I've had some wonderful moments with him to cherish for ever. Once I came out of that school, I lost contact with most of the students. We both went to different engineering colleges. Still we never lost touch with each other. It's just amazing how the bonding happens with different people in our lives. He is the one friend with whom I can share anything and everything. Sounds simple. Right? Believe me, even though you are very good friends with some one, it doesn't mean that you can talk everything with him. It depends on lot of things.

In the same school, I made another good friend named U.Praveen. It's crazy to think that I had big fight with this guy when I was in 8th grade. After that we didn't talk to each other for almost a year. I know it sounds ridiculous. But it always happens with kids at that age. May be puberty has to do with that, I mean with hot temper. I'll write about that incident in my next blog. Once we started talking to each other, I always felt like he was an amazing guy to be with. Like I wrote above, I was very shy and had an inferiority complex when it came to certain simple yet complex things in life. He was always there with me in encouraging to do things. When ever I had doubts and pushed my self back, he was there to pull me forward. In one simple line, he always had very positive effect on me in every way. He always made me feel confident and proud of my self. The other best thing I liked in him is he never felt threatened or peer pressure by being next to me. In stead, he was always proud to say good things about me, which is a rare quality I guess. What do you say? I'm very happy that I'm still very close to both of these guys even after 20 years since I met them for first time.

Just like you imagined, the next step in making strong and everlasting friendships happened in my engineering years. Students come to engineering at an age of around 18 years. I think this is very important age in every way whether it comes to having a blast in a life or making a life for one self or to go completely astray. I personally feel at this age it takes long time to make good friends, but once you make it lasts for ever. Same thing happened in my life too. I met some of the best guys here. Just like it happened in my life before engineering, I had to stay in hostel in my engineering life too. In a way it was wonderful as it helped me in meeting my current best friends.

If I'm frank to my self and my friends, when I first time entered my allotted room in the hostel, I was skeptical about my roommates. I mean to be specific I thought of them to be not my type. That was the first time I met people from different parts of my state with different slangs. In that room I met one of my close and best friends. For long time, for some reason, we were never close. I guess it was like that until the end of the first year. I'm not sure though. Looking back it feels like I've always known him being close to me. I don't remember the exact reasons though. I think I was too much into cricket to not to recognize people around me. Because of strange reasons, at one point, I even thought my roommates were rude. I'm sure there were reasons for that. May be one of them being me going to the room in the middle of the nights spoiling everyone's sleep or talking too much. May be my roommates thought I was annoying type. I don't know what it is, but now I feel strange to look back and think that I wasn't that close to him. Oho, by the way his name is Kranthi Kumar. I think it happened in certain period where we got a chance to talk about lot of things.

By the time I realized I was very close to Kranthi. Most of the time I used to walk to our most loved place "KPHB Colony". In a way I just can't express everything about him. I can say that he is very genuine in every way, very calm, very matured and has this pleasant and peaceful demeanor. Some times we feel either intimidated or irritated to be around some people. Right? It might be wrong to think like this even before we get to know about some one. I agree. But if you meet him, you immediately feel that he is the nicest guy. In simple words, if I have to I put it this way. He is the soft spoken and nice guy with sympathetic heart for everyone. I guess he can never do bad to not only people but also to any life on this earth. Surprisingly, even his habits are also like make you feel he is a soft hearted guy. I'm very lucky to have a friend like him. I'm hundred percent sure I'll be in touch with him until I die.

The next best friend I made in my engineering time is Kishan. The moment I wrote his name, smile came on to my face. Hey, don't think that he is a funny guy. What I'm trying to say by writing like this is he is a very nice guy just like Kranthi with great wits. I'm not sure when I felt he was a good friend. At least with Kranthi I remember some thing, but not with Kishan. By the time I finished my engineering I definitely knew him very well, if not I was best friend of him. If I remember right, I always thought, in fact Kranthi too, Kishan and his friends were all the way in different league. Even though Kishan and his friends are from middle class families, it's just that for what ever reasons Kranthi and I felt that we couldn't connect to them in certain things. No matter what it was, at one point of time we used to spend lots of time together in the hostel, be it in going to colony or preparing for exams. The other thing that brought us close was that we were all in the mechanical major.

After engineering, we all had to go in different ways in search of good life. Don't know whether it is true though. I guess just like anyone else we also went for what everyone goes for. As simple as that. I went to Sweden for my masters, Kishan came to US and Kranthi stayed back in India. Over the next few years the only contact we had was either through emails or phones. All these years friendship with Kishan grew stronger and stronger. The best part with Kishan was he always respected my views and listened to what I felt. More over he was there for me in every possible way. After coming to US, financially, God only knows how many times, he helped me like anything. In one word he is always there for me. The best part with Kishan is he doesn't try to be preacher. In a way I feel Kranthi, Kishan and I have the same kind of mentality in most of the things. What ever it is, if we get together, we could definitely talk for hours with out feeling that the other person is dominating or trying to put his thoughts on each other. In a way I feel all of us know our boundaries and intelligent enough to understand each other's limitations and feelings.

There have been few more friends whom I consider very good friends (Ramesh, Vijay, Anil, Dadi, Vijay Bhaskar and many more). Now I feel I can never make these kind of friends again in my life. Once we get into married life, I think it is impossible to make any close friends. In simple words if your wife becomes more than your best friends, then you are lucky. Otherwise consider spending time on watching lots of TV.

Anyway, I just felt like writing something about my friends. What ever I wrote here was not coherent at all. I guess it doesn't matter. Even though I wanted put my random thoughts and feelings into an ordered manner, it was just too much going on in my mind to put it that way.

It's been long time since I met Kranthi, Kiran and Praveen. I'm kind of lucky to live close to Kishan here in LA. I meet him very often. I don't know how it would have been if he were not here. I'm eagerly waiting to meet Kranthi, Kiran and Praveen in the future. Hopefully it should come soon. It would be really great to meet Kranthi along with Kishan. Same is the case with Kiran and Praveen. In putting American words I just want to spend some quality time with all my friends. I'm sure there is hell lot of things to catch on. Let's see how these things will roll. Only time will tell!

cheers
Sreedhar.