We will miss you Srinivas

We all live on this earth as though we will be here forever. I guess that's the way we're disposed to think. Otherwise, I guess all of us will simply prematurely end our lives.

To come to the point, one of my engineering friends has recently passed away. Even though I know that one day it'll be my time to go off the face of this planet, it made me very sad to know that he passed away not fully living his time. I just feel like I wanted to share or express my homage to him by writing it on my blog here.

It was 1998 fall and we just joined Engineering college, JNTU in Hyderabad. Just like my self being from rural background, Srinivas or fondly called YSR, Yampati Srinivasa Reddy being his full name, is also from a small village in current Telangana. We used to live in a hostel along with many other friends. One thing I always did was to play cricket, literally all day. I didn't know much about Srinivas except that he was the best EAMCET ranker in our mechanical engineering class. I think it was around 600 which I'd say is exceptional.

Like I said I used to play cricket all the time and if I remember right only thing I observed of Srinivas was that he used to sit in his room in front of books. I used to think of him as a just another bookish guy. Honestly speaking, I didn't care to think more than that. Then it all changed just in one moment.

One evening like it always was the case I was playing cricket with my friends and some one played a lofted drive and the ball ended up hitting Srinivas' room window and breaking it. I went into his room to get the ball and just like expected he wasn't happy. In fact he was upset and angry. Immediately I said sorry and started looking for a ball. That moment Srinivas said something around these words in thick Telangana accent "Emiraa mee amma naayana kastapadi mimmalni ikkadki pampisthe meeku kovvekki eppudu aatalentra". Actually it was very intense. I still remember I was so shocked I was taken aback and didn't know what to say.

I myself is not a guy to take things lightly when someone says things to my face. To my astonishment, I didn't get angry at all. In fact, he made a great impression on me. So, I said to him sorry again and asked him why couldn't he ease a bit and join us to play cricket. This guy truly had a great heart. He started smiling and refused the offer and said he needed to study. Immediately, I told him we were just beginning the semester and there was no need to sit 24 hours in front of books. Then he said he wasn't worried about our first year but he was preparing for IIT. I was like "wow, this guy is amazing". Then we ended up talking few things and then I asked him what book he was going through at that moment. To his surprise I ended up helping him solve few physics problems.

Another great aspect of this guy was he would tell you on your face whatever he thought or would think. That moment he told me "I really thought all you guys are brainless". I started laughing and then he said why I was wasting time and why couldn't I join him for IIT preparation. I laughed it off and wished him good luck. He was not only hardworking and truly apply himself there working towards a goal. I mean we were young and always wanted to have fun whether it be playing cricket, watching movies or talking about girls. That's the age, right? But this guy was special. He had discipline and he always knew what he wanted. How many of us had those qualities? If he had bit of luck I am sure he would have been here with us doing great things.

So our friendship continued. Like I said he always thought hostel environment wasn't helping him at all in reaching his goals. So, he left hostel pretty soon and took a room outside. One day I went with him to his room. I still remember it was raining pretty hard and I was shocked to see how small the room was. He asked me to sit there and started making food. You'd think no big deal, right? He had to cook under a tarp that had holes all the over place. Nothing bothered him. He quickly made something and offered me. To think back of that moment it makes me tearful. Great thing was he never complained.

One thing we both had in common was both of our families were dependent on farming. We used to talk how difficult it was for our families given that how difficult farming was. The more I know about him and his family the more I liked him.

At some point in third or fourth year he suddenly out of no where wanted to watch movies and have some fun. It was great to see him wanting to do other stuff as well. I think he must have felt the urgency to feel the fun as we were closing on finishing up our engineering. When our entire class went to Nagarjuna Sagar he was there next to me. We took one picture together and that's the only picture I have with him.

After engineering we all went separate routes and I ended up in Sweden doing masters. One day I got a very angry email from Srinivas asking whether I was alive or dead. I got so upset I wrote him back very angry response. Then he wrote me back apologizing. Of course I called him and we ended up talking for more than half an hour or so. It was heartbreaking to hear he went through real hard time after engineering. He stuck to mechanical engineering and it didn't do him any favours. After going through lot of difficulties he realized it was time to quit and go for software. As he was a sharp guy, he learned few things quickly and got a job in Infosys which I'd say amazing.

After that life was good to him. I talked to him few times and he was truly happy. He helped his family out as a dutiful first son in taking care of them as well as getting his sister married. He was always there as a son and brother. He said he was happy when he talked about his daughter.

For whatever reasons except for an odd email here and there we were not in touch that well for a while, I'd say at least in the last 2 years. Then suddenly he wrote me an email last December I think. I felt really happy that he cared enough to write an email after such a long time. Truly good friend. Then I wrote him back and eventually I called him. He was with his friends and we talked for 10 minutes. I said I'd call him soon again and told ourselves that we should do video chat and catch up on how our lives went, etc.

So, I was thinking of calling him sometime and then one day out of no where my friend Kishan mentioned to me what happened. It was biggest shock of my life. I was there next to my grandfather when he passed away. I cried a lot back then. But it was bound to happen with anyone when they get old and fragile. It's part of life. But it's not the case with Srinivas. He is in his thirties and having a life and working hard to take care of his family. Like any father he wanted to be there to take care of and guide and prepare his daughter towards her future. Then in one moment his life was ended.

Now I am asking myself again and again "why in the world this should happen to him?". I don't know the answer but one thing I know for sure is life is not fair. It's not fair at all. He should be here along with us doing great.

We will truly miss you Srinivas. If not for unfairness in life you would be here with your family. I know that no one can replace you for your family. As a friend I promise you we will try our best to help your family.

Bye for now Srinivas. Sreedhar.